Loving Through Your Differences ― Building Strong Relationships from Separate Realities

Many couples start out believing they like the same things, see people the same way, and share a united take on the world. It feels wonderful! But inevitably differences are found and it can be profoundly discouraging to find your partner sees a person, situation, or decision completely differently. While this is a point at which many relationships flounder, psychologist and relationship consultant James Creighton shows that this can actually be the time to forge stronger and more realistic ties. Loving through Your Differences shows how. He begins by drawing on the latest research in cognitive science and developmental psychology to show how we literally invent our realities with our perceptual minds. He then provides clear, concrete tools for changing those minds, shifting our perceptions, and reframing our responses. The result moves couples out of the fear and alienation of “your way or my way” and into a deep understanding of the other that allows for an “our way.” As Creighton shows — and his own 50-year marriage attests — this way of being together, based on the reality of individuality rather than the illusion of sameness, sets the stage for long term excitement, discovery, and fulfillment.

James L. Creighton has worked with couples and conducted communications training for nearly 50 years around the world and in diverse ways, including training counselors for universities, public schools, and the Job Corps; conducting mediations for Fortune 500 corporations and government entities; and designing conflict resolution processes for hot button environmental issues. He lives in Kihei, HI.