Have a little faith

Sometimes when you least expect it, your world spins out of your control, well at least that was how I felt when I heard for the first time that I had leukemia; it felt like my world stopped and I couldn't press play and I felt betrayed by my own body, I sat down at the doctor's office for 30sec with my mouth wide open and didn't know what to say or how to react; I looked at my mom talking to the doctor in tears and though she was so close yet she felt so far instantly I felt alone in the world. I am just 15 so why did this have to happen to me, I haven't done much in life, I haven't fallen in love, have a boyfriend, gone to college, or do anything a teenager does, all I have done is do all they have asked of me and I have been such a good girl, so why me; the fact that I couldn't get a better explanation or answers to why me, makes me so mad at everything and everyone and I have no idea what to do with this much anger or whom to direct it too; I guess that's my way of dealing with this, I hope these feelings go away soon because it hurts so bad, Isabella wrote In her diary.