In hilarious and tender essays, #1 New York Times bestselling author Chelsea Handler shares her unforgettable story of becoming the woman she always wanted to be. There's a woman I want to become, Chelsea Handler thought as a child. She'll be strong and confident. She'll light up a room and spread that light to make others feel better. She'll make a living being herself. She'll be a survivor. At ten years old, Chelsea opened a lemonade stand and realized she'd make more money if the drinks were spiked. So she added vodka to her recipe and used her earnings to upgrade herself to first-class on a family vacation--leaving her parents and siblings in coach. She moved to Los Angeles and got fired from her temp job when she admitted she didn't know how to transfer calls. She's played pickleball with the scions of an American dynasty. She's sexted a governor. She shared psychedelics with strangers in Spain. When she accidentally ended up at dinner with Woody Allen, she was not going to leave
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