Ava Parnass MSN CS, AKA “The Kid Whisperer,” is an author, songwriter and child therapist. Ms. Parnass helps parents become Behavior Detectives to investigate hidden feelings, to improve behavior and overeating. As Behavior Detectives parents will learn to Investigate Hungry Feelings not Hungry Tummy, mood issues, tantrums and misbehaving.
After reading Behavior Detective Investigate: Hungry Feelings not Hungry Tummy, parents and teachers will understand how to translate and transform a child's behaviors into new feelings, new words and new actions. Using the conversation starters, activities, feelings maps and many techniques in the book to investigate behavior, will help families turn self soothing with food into talking about feelings.
There are easy step-by-step investigating skills in the book to understand and improve a child’s behavior. Most behaviors such as tantrums, anxiety, moods, begging, repetitive activity, overactivity, overeating or not sleeping can be understood as common outward manifestations of a child’s attempt to communicate feelings and emotional needs. If we change our parenting skills and teaching for the better, a child’s behavior WILL improve.
It is also important that we stop blaming our kids for their bad behavior and instead find better parenting and teaching solutions to get to the root of the problem, and solve it, together. Many adults mistakenly assume children know how they feel and how to express those feelings fully. The truth is, children need to be taught emotional skills. This requires using words and pictures, talking, empathy, listening, role-playing, understanding, songs, training and practice.
The question often comes up: Why do all this extra work to get to the truth of what a child is feeling and then acknowledge those feelings?
The Answer is: Because acknowledging and validating feelings will teach children in a kind, gentle, loving way. It will also build healthy self-esteem.
In addition, acknowledging and validating feelings gives children excellent skills to be resilient in the face of adversity. Research shows that emotional intelligence skills can prevent future emotional problems by building up your child as they grow, instead of fixing them as an adult.
Keep in mind, helping kids with the truth of how they feel sends powerful, loving messages that hard feelings are acceptable, and you love them no matter what.
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