Growing Strong Girls ― Practical Tools to Cultivate Connection in the Preteen Years

Girls today face an astounding degree of pressure to grow up fast, to be “perfect” in every way, and to be all things to all people. They yearn to connect, but sometimes this yearning turns into negative, even destructive patterns such as passive aggressiveness, gossip, or excessive stress and anxiety. It’s heart-breaking to watch even the most confident little girls disconnect and lose their spark, and their way, when they hit the 9–14 years.

In Growing Strong Girls, educator and girl expert and advocate Lindsay Sealey reveals the tremendous power of connection to activate self-awareness, self-acceptance, and healthy social and emotional development. This wide-ranging and positive book is chock-full of ideas, tips, activities, stories and specific ways to connect with and equip girls to know and trust themselves, to create vibrant friendships and communities, and to step into their tween and teen years with resilience, bravery, confidence, and inner strength.

Lindsay Sealey bridges the gap between girls and the adults who want to understand them and the sometimes chaotic and confusing ways they act and express themselves. She explains the realities of girl drama and social pressure that girls themselves often don’t possess the maturity or communication skills to convey and models a way for parents, teachers, counselors, mentors, and companions on the journey to listen deeply and to start conversations with girls that actually go somewhere.

When the most important thing a girl needs is a secure relationship, an adult’s primary task is simple: spend time with her, listen, and draw out her core qualities so she knows who she is and so she can handle social pressures. Once a girl learns to connect inwardly with her true self, she can connect outwardly in healthy relationships and onward to meet the challenges of school and the wider world. Growing Strong Girls offers hundreds of practical ways to cultivate connection right now. Making a difference in the lives of girls is easier than you might think and powerful beyond measure.

The book explores:• Why “mean girls” are just girls who aren’t getting what they need in their friendships and why there is no such thing as a “good girl”• How parents can help girls make sense of their lives• Why nothing can take the place of that security in her life: not body image, not straight As, not social media.• The disconnect between self-conception as “sexy” and being ready for sex• How girls can learn to let go while guarding their boundaries• The basics of social emotional learning and how you can implement them at homework time• Conquering test anxiety by focusing on the process, not just the outcome• Nurturing academic excellence: life-long learning, executive functioning skills and compassionate stress management• Bravery as an underrated quality in girls and the surprising number of brave role models in the media

Lindsay Sealey holds an MA in Educational Leadership from San Diego State University. A passionate girl-advocate, she has worked in counseling, curriculum development, and special education for over 15 years and is the founder and CEO of Bold New Girls, a unique and comprehensive teaching and coaching company for girls and young women and their parents, teachers and caretakers. Lindsay lives in Vancouver, Canada.

Dr. Vanessa Lapointe, R. Psych., is the founder of The Wishing Star Lapointe Developmental Clinic, a sought-after lecturer, and the author of the bestselling book Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up. She lives in Vancouver, B.C.