滿額折
The Alphabet Books ― ABC
商品資訊
ISBN13：9781545567111
出版社：Createspace Independent Pub
作者：Marc Richard
出版日：2017/04/27
裝訂／頁數：平裝／238頁
規格：22.9cm*15.2cm*1.4cm (高/寬/厚)
商品簡介
商品簡介
Not your kids' fairy tales...
"The best thing I've read since sliced bread!" -Name Withheld
Raw. Irreverent. On the brink of lunacy. Three tales so twisted, they’ll make you question your own sanity. Goldilocks and the Mob. Hansel and Gretel and the Cannibal Cookies. A madcap romp through the Garden of Eden. A tasteless blend of the familiar and unusual, the lucid and surreal. Outlandish. Hysterical. And many more adjectives. Comedy, horror, and fairy tales all in one extravagant word-buffet. You’ll be asking for seconds. Say good-bye to the ordinary.
A IS FOR ADAM
And on the sixth day, God created Man...
Adam is the first human being all alone in the Garden of Eden. He has everything he needs, but he sure is lonely.One morning he awakens to find his body flayed open. Could it be kidney thieves? No, God has stolen a rib to make him a companion. Why he couldn't have just made Eve out of dirt like Adam was, is beyond him. Adam and Eve are living in relative peace in Paradise until trouble comes to the Garden in the form of a snake. He convinces Eve to eat the Fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, and she convinces Adam to do the same. This makes God very angry, and He banishes them to the desert to fend for themselves.
Why are they suddenly knowing things they shouldn't? Why are twigs sprouting out from their body? How did their goat learn the words to all these Phil Collins songs?
Follow me, as we journey together through one man's complete misunderstanding of the Book of Genesis.
B IS FOR BEAR
Once upon a time, there were three bears…
Jimmy DiFrenzo is the head of the Figarazzi family, one of the toughest mob families around. He loves his gabagool, his gold chains, and his chest hair. He lives in a nice suburban home with his adoring wife and child. The perfect, yet hackneyed, life of a Sicilian American. But he has secrets.
Blondie is a spoiled little rich girl who always gets her way. When her life becomes tedious, she begins a life of breaking into random homes. She never steals anything; she's in it for the excitement. All is going swimmingly, till she finds herself the wrong house.
"Someone’s been using my hair gel!"
"Someone’s been eating my gabagool!"
"Someone’s been sleeping on my couch! And there she is!"
Just who is this blond bitch that has broken into Jimmy’s home? Did she really pick the wrong house, or does she have a plan? Perhaps she has secrets, too.
Come witness this remix of an age-old classic. This ain't your grandma's fairy tale.
C IS FOR COOKIE
What makes those cookies so gosh-darned yummy?
“You need to get a job,” Father said to his children. “You’re in your mid twenties. Time to get out my house.” And so they did.
Hansel and Gretel are two long-haul truckers, a brother and sister team, whose work order is simple: Deliver a truckload of cookies across country to an old witch in the forest. They accept the job, despite the rumors that those who deliver cookies sometimes don’t make it back. When they stop to pick up their load, they notice something isn’t right. Pastries shouldn’t be bleeding and screaming and trying to escape their boxes.
Years ago, a rather ugly child lived in an orphanage. She was picked on mercilessly until one by one the orphans went missing. Now an old witch with a cookie addiction, she sits alone in her mansion made of sweets, waiting for her delivery of baked goods with the one special ingredient in them.
Will Hansel and Gretel make their delivery on time? Will they make it out alive? Will Hansel finally admit that Gretel is the better driver?
Indulge your appetite and feast your eyes on this new twist on an age-old tale.
Note: This series does not need to be read in alphabetical order. Mix and match! Trade with friends!
"The best thing I've read since sliced bread!" -Name Withheld
Raw. Irreverent. On the brink of lunacy. Three tales so twisted, they’ll make you question your own sanity. Goldilocks and the Mob. Hansel and Gretel and the Cannibal Cookies. A madcap romp through the Garden of Eden. A tasteless blend of the familiar and unusual, the lucid and surreal. Outlandish. Hysterical. And many more adjectives. Comedy, horror, and fairy tales all in one extravagant word-buffet. You’ll be asking for seconds. Say good-bye to the ordinary.
A IS FOR ADAM
And on the sixth day, God created Man...
Adam is the first human being all alone in the Garden of Eden. He has everything he needs, but he sure is lonely.One morning he awakens to find his body flayed open. Could it be kidney thieves? No, God has stolen a rib to make him a companion. Why he couldn't have just made Eve out of dirt like Adam was, is beyond him. Adam and Eve are living in relative peace in Paradise until trouble comes to the Garden in the form of a snake. He convinces Eve to eat the Fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, and she convinces Adam to do the same. This makes God very angry, and He banishes them to the desert to fend for themselves.
Why are they suddenly knowing things they shouldn't? Why are twigs sprouting out from their body? How did their goat learn the words to all these Phil Collins songs?
Follow me, as we journey together through one man's complete misunderstanding of the Book of Genesis.
B IS FOR BEAR
Once upon a time, there were three bears…
Jimmy DiFrenzo is the head of the Figarazzi family, one of the toughest mob families around. He loves his gabagool, his gold chains, and his chest hair. He lives in a nice suburban home with his adoring wife and child. The perfect, yet hackneyed, life of a Sicilian American. But he has secrets.
Blondie is a spoiled little rich girl who always gets her way. When her life becomes tedious, she begins a life of breaking into random homes. She never steals anything; she's in it for the excitement. All is going swimmingly, till she finds herself the wrong house.
"Someone’s been using my hair gel!"
"Someone’s been eating my gabagool!"
"Someone’s been sleeping on my couch! And there she is!"
Just who is this blond bitch that has broken into Jimmy’s home? Did she really pick the wrong house, or does she have a plan? Perhaps she has secrets, too.
Come witness this remix of an age-old classic. This ain't your grandma's fairy tale.
C IS FOR COOKIE
What makes those cookies so gosh-darned yummy?
“You need to get a job,” Father said to his children. “You’re in your mid twenties. Time to get out my house.” And so they did.
Hansel and Gretel are two long-haul truckers, a brother and sister team, whose work order is simple: Deliver a truckload of cookies across country to an old witch in the forest. They accept the job, despite the rumors that those who deliver cookies sometimes don’t make it back. When they stop to pick up their load, they notice something isn’t right. Pastries shouldn’t be bleeding and screaming and trying to escape their boxes.
Years ago, a rather ugly child lived in an orphanage. She was picked on mercilessly until one by one the orphans went missing. Now an old witch with a cookie addiction, she sits alone in her mansion made of sweets, waiting for her delivery of baked goods with the one special ingredient in them.
Will Hansel and Gretel make their delivery on time? Will they make it out alive? Will Hansel finally admit that Gretel is the better driver?
Indulge your appetite and feast your eyes on this new twist on an age-old tale.
Note: This series does not need to be read in alphabetical order. Mix and match! Trade with friends!
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