Confused? Is It A Date Or A Hang Out?
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Something scares you. It's not terrorism, economic
recession, global warming, or gasoline prices that could hit 10 bucks per gallon by the time you're done reading this. These things might worry you, but something else makes your palms sweat and your pulse hit triple digits: Asking someone out on a date. That's because asking someone out involves potential pain. If the object of your affection becomes aware of your intentions, he or she might not reciprocate, and that's going to hurt. I don't care if you're the most self-confident, wells adjusted person around; rejection hurts. It makes the remaining friendship awkward at best, humiliating at worst. Revealing romantic feelings is a risky business.
Many people find a way around the risk. Or at least they think they do.
Instead of asking someone out on a date and being bold in their intentions, they turn to the soggy milquetoast alternative to dating:
"hanging out." Here's how it works: You like someone but you're afraid to let him or her know. So instead of asking the person on a date, you go on approximations of dates that allow for plausible deniability of all romantic intentions. You study together. You exercise together. You find lame excuses to call or text. Worst of all, you engage in the most banal and abysmal of non-dates-going to coffee. It has the trappings of a date-a cozy ambiance, comforting beverages, atmospheric music-while allowing everyone involved to disavow the actual occurrence of a date. Fear of rejection alone has resulted in the proliferation of Starbucks like a French-roasted virus.
People suffer through this in the hope that the object of their affection will eventually buckle and reveal his or her true feelings. They wait and watch. They keep making up excuses to hang out, hedging all their bets and waiting for God to give them a sign. If you've been down this road before, you know that it's seldom successful. You remain stuck in the "friend zone," which is relationship purgatory if you have a crush on
someone. Are We Dating or Not? While I was doing research for What Women Wish You Knew about Dating, the biggest complaint I heard from women was that men weren't assertive enough. They described men who drove them crazy by calling and hanging around while never asking them out on a real date. They said that it was exhausting trying to figure out which guys liked them versus which guys don't liked them. So " Confused? Is It A Date Or A Hang Out?
Shows the differences between dating and hanging out, in hopes of making life easier for these ladies
recession, global warming, or gasoline prices that could hit 10 bucks per gallon by the time you're done reading this. These things might worry you, but something else makes your palms sweat and your pulse hit triple digits: Asking someone out on a date. That's because asking someone out involves potential pain. If the object of your affection becomes aware of your intentions, he or she might not reciprocate, and that's going to hurt. I don't care if you're the most self-confident, wells adjusted person around; rejection hurts. It makes the remaining friendship awkward at best, humiliating at worst. Revealing romantic feelings is a risky business.
Many people find a way around the risk. Or at least they think they do.
Instead of asking someone out on a date and being bold in their intentions, they turn to the soggy milquetoast alternative to dating:
"hanging out." Here's how it works: You like someone but you're afraid to let him or her know. So instead of asking the person on a date, you go on approximations of dates that allow for plausible deniability of all romantic intentions. You study together. You exercise together. You find lame excuses to call or text. Worst of all, you engage in the most banal and abysmal of non-dates-going to coffee. It has the trappings of a date-a cozy ambiance, comforting beverages, atmospheric music-while allowing everyone involved to disavow the actual occurrence of a date. Fear of rejection alone has resulted in the proliferation of Starbucks like a French-roasted virus.
People suffer through this in the hope that the object of their affection will eventually buckle and reveal his or her true feelings. They wait and watch. They keep making up excuses to hang out, hedging all their bets and waiting for God to give them a sign. If you've been down this road before, you know that it's seldom successful. You remain stuck in the "friend zone," which is relationship purgatory if you have a crush on
someone. Are We Dating or Not? While I was doing research for What Women Wish You Knew about Dating, the biggest complaint I heard from women was that men weren't assertive enough. They described men who drove them crazy by calling and hanging around while never asking them out on a real date. They said that it was exhausting trying to figure out which guys liked them versus which guys don't liked them. So " Confused? Is It A Date Or A Hang Out?
Shows the differences between dating and hanging out, in hopes of making life easier for these ladies
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