Crystal and Cocktails: Anatomy of an Addict

When I was in rehab, I mentioned to a counselor that I was an aspiring writer. She suggested I write a memoir and specifically suggested I include details about rehab and recovery; she said, "There are tons of books about addiction and tons of self-help books about recovery, but not very many memoirs written by addicts that share their journey through recovery."

At three years sober, someone close to me said, "You've been able to help yourself, and that's good, but good people help themselves, and great people help other people. If you could find a way to tell your story, that would be great."

My book describes the personality traits and character defects that began my journey into drug and alcohol abuse, the gradual decline of my mental and physical health over fifteen years of addiction and over a decade of recovery. It also describes the process of finding a home group in twelve-step programs and finding a sponsor, both of which I feel are integral to success in the transition from early to long-term recovery, and I describe the reintegration process with both my spouse and my immediate family.

My story needs to be told because it's a bit less exorbitant and appalling than other popular stories and different from the way addicts are typically portrayed in movies and television. Most addicts are not homeless, jobless, and friendless; they are quietly imploding at the behest of those closest to them and unbeknownst to nearly everyone else.

We, as a society, are moving into an era of awareness and action regarding mental health; it's finally okay to admit we need help. However, many addicts and alcoholics use a worst-case scenario as a metric for the progression of their illness and convince themselves they need not pursue solutions to their addiction and mental health, often until it's too late. I hope if they hear a middle-of-the-road, white-collar journey like mine, they will proactively take action to save themselves, their marriages, and their relationships with their children and their families before the consequences become so dire that they lose them entirely.