Sophia Palmer has felt in control for years, but when she encounters a new friend at a party one night, she realizes that she's been keeping secrets from everyone, even herself.
"Trust me, I'd know if I was gay.
There would be some sign, some scroll dropped from heaven. I would know.
That's a fucking lie, by the way.
There had been crushes, my god, tons of them. I would always find a way to play it off as platonic.
There was even this one time in ninth grade, sitting on the couch with one of my best friends. I remember looking at her as I lay with my head in her lap. I got butterflies. And I didn't even know I was totally in love with her."
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