A Caretaker's Tale: A Story of Caring Through the Shadow Valley

After former first lady Rosalynn Carter died, an article in the Washington Post appeared quoting her as having said, "there are only four types of people in this world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who need caregiving themselves." - Washington Post Nov. 20, 2023

I was confronted with the "those who will be caregivers ", after my sister had a second Heart attack. When she looked at me with those sad blue eyes and said, "I can't stay by myself anymore." I knew in my heart that I would do whatever I could to be with her.

Since I am a widow, living by myself, there was only a minimal barrier for me to change my lifestyle. The emotional aspect of it, however, was a different matter. Would I be able to do whatever needs to be done? How about helping her physically? Helping her in her daily hygiene? What if her memory starts to fade?

Once I committed myself to be at her side, I took each scenario one step at a time. I learned how to take her blood-pressure, her oxygen level, watch her weight etc. After several months she did need help with her personal hygiene. With the help of God, I learned to adapt to each situation. We both overcame any feelings of modesty and reservations we may have held.

We often used prayer and songs to help us in difficult situations. My sister especially used prayer in making the decision of either staying at home or going to a nursing home. Her wish was to stay in her home as long as possible. After six months she finished her journey with only the last two days in a hospice facility.

By sharing my story, I hope to encourage people and gain some knowledge of what to expect when being confronted with the task of being a caregiver. Trivial things that we never thought of may come up and it is a comfort to learn that other people had similar experiences and how they handled it and adapted to it.