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"I used to be a duck! I used to be a duck!" my three year old daughter exclaimed.
I was pregnant with my fourth child and my older children were thrilled to follow the gestational development of their new baby brother week by week. That week we learned from my pregnancy app that the baby had webbed hands and feet. My kids didn't know what "webbed" meant so I told them it was like how duck feet are. That's when my sweet Lexi swirled her arms around jubilantly and told me that she used to be a duck and she swam around in my tummy.
Lexi experienced the pregnancy every step of the way through the imaginative eyes of a child. This story started as Lexi's story of being a big sister to her baby brother before she even saw him or held him. After baby Damien was born she wrapped her arms around him for the first time with a love and familiarity that made it clear that she had known him for months.
Lexi's candid genius was seeing that her relationship with her brother predated his birth. Human beings are suspended and supported in existence through the intricate twining of relationships. The intimate relationship between mother and child is obvious in pregnancy. It is a profound nudity within nudity that binds the mother and child in a mysterious unity. But that is not the only relationship; that is what Lexi taught me.
Damien grew into a tot and our family welcomed a new baby, Baby Bridget. Then it was Damien's turn to be a big brother and experience the awe of baby Bridget growing week by week. Lexi's story became Damien's story as he delighted in his new baby sister.
Every child in the womb is already embedded in human relationships. That child has a whole web of familial relationships that extend into the womb and bind the child to this world.
I hope that this story, Damien's story, speaks to your child and inspires the love of a new baby sibling. Congratulations to you! Congratulations to the new big brother! And congratulations to all of the new grandmas, grandpas, cousins, aunts, uncles, and family ties that hold us dearly our whole lives.
