Please Fasten Your SeatBelt

This book is a compilation of many funny events that are reported by an ex Qantas Airways International Flight Attendant. It includes stories that will make readers laugh uncontrollably while some may bring a tear to their eyes.

Here's a small sample.

Studying one of the Red wine bottles intensely, Bob noticed that this particular Label was new to Qantas, and that he had not come across it before.

Curious as to what it tasted like, Bob unceremoniously put the bottle to his mouth to taste, enjoy and verify the quality of its contents. As fate would have it, at that very instant, the galley's drawn curtain was pushed open, and who should walk into the galley but the Captain, catching Bob red-handed.

Now, had this been anyone else, they would probably have fallen to their knees in tears, offering to kiss the Captain's feet, asking for forgiveness, and begging to be given a second chance. Not Bob. As he put the bottle down slowly and deliberately on the Galley bench, he said very calmly, "Now, Captain, before you pass an accusation, would you like to hear an explanation?"

The Captain, who knew Bob well, retorted, "Yes, Bob, by all means, I'd love to hear it."

Cool as a cucumber, Bob said, "As you know, Captain, according to First Class meal-serving procedures, I am supposed to open the Red wine bottles 15 minutes before the meal is served, to let them breathe. Would you agree with that, Sir?" In a quiet voice, the Captain replied, "Yes, Bob, I am aware of that."

"Well, Captain, I noticed that this particular bottle was not breathing, so I was giving it mouth-to-mouth."

Of course, I imagine that the Captain would have reported this incident to Crew management, as it is illegal for Crew Members to consume any alcohol on an aircraft, in case of an Emergency.