Dear Drew: Creating a Life Bigger Than Grief

Western culture has long struggled with the treatment of trauma, loss, and grief, often wishing to sweep the "ugliness" under the rug. More recently, the phrase "it's okay to not be okay" has come into vogue, opening up the possibility of showing grief and sadness to the world. While this sentiment is absolutely true and useful in the initial stages of loss, grief, and healing, many people don't realize that it's also okay to want to be more than okay. They take on their trauma as their identity--the grieving parent, the injured divorc? the abused child--and thus limit themselves and their capacity for joy and happiness.

In Dear Drew: A Letter to Those Who Yearn to Heal from Grief and Find Joy Again, Melissa Hull offers readers a provocative alternate view: We have a choice in how we heal. We can choose to make grief or trauma a point of personal discovery and allow it to open us up to beautiful learnings and a happy, meaningful life. By recognizing the moment of agency--and acting on it--we are empowered to heal, transform, and thrive. This is some of the most difficult emotional work one can ever do but also some of the most rewarding.

Drawing on her experience of losing a child to drowning, Melissa speaks from a place of deep healing from both the loss and her related feelings of guilt. The book's title references not only Melissa's son and the letters she wrote him after his death but also a letter from a stranger, Theresa, that saved Melissa's life and became a touchstone. This book is Melissa's letter to those who have experienced trauma so severe that they can only trust the voice of someone who has survived similar pain. Readers who pick up Dear Drew know they need a deep healing process so they can begin to believe a better future is possible and then choose to keep moving toward that future every day. Having rebuilt her life using traditional Western therapies as well as alternative approaches, Melissa acts as readers' witness and guide.