The Felisian Folly, The Cucumber Gambit, and The Unfortunate Resistance

When a hyper-advanced, sushi-obsessed feline empire arrives to claim Earth's fish and chickens as the main course for a new galactic menu, humanity's resistance proves about as effective as a fly arguing with a car window. With global defenses swatted aside like so many dust motes in a sunbeam, the planet's fate falls to its secret, ancient guardians: the K9th Ascendancy, a unit of five hyper-intelligent alien dogs whose primary cover involves strategic napping and looking soulful when snacks are present.

Lacking a suitable doomsday device, they recruit their only available asset-a profoundly bewildered delivery driver named Dave-for a plan so absurd it just might work. Their last-ditch strategy hinges on one improbable, deeply ingrained Felisian secret: a crippling genetic phobia. But can a delivery van, a few borrowed gardening tools, and five talking dogs really repel the most fearsome warriors in the galaxy? Or will their bizarre gambit merely make the Felisians angry enough to come back for dessert?