"A bracing and true book that teaches us new ways to be alive." Greg Grandin, Pulitzer Prize winning author, The End of the Myth
Cancer looms over this memoir like a modern god of petrochemical reckoning, but its brutality is softened-again and again-by the luminosity of love and artistic creation. After the protagonist's violent and seductive father dies a harrowing cancer death, she leaves home determined to become an artist. Her path takes her through the reckless, libertine world of the New York avant-garde and into the deeply committed realm of the ecofeminist pacifist left. There, she bears witness to the bright deaths of Julian Beck and Barbara Deming, and finds her life partner: the brilliant actor-producer George Bartenieff.
Together, they create boundary-pushing theatre that confronts the biggest issues of our time-war, climate change, collective historical trauma-while unearthing George's past as a hidden child in Nazi Germany. Even as they battle the ferocity of cancer, they continue to make vital, final works of transformation.
This memoir traces lives lived at full intensity: radical love, fearless art, deep community, and the painful beauty of last things. It invites readers into the underworld of grief and dying, offering lessons in presence, remembrance, and the urgent need to confront a failing medical system with courage and care.
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