OMG! There it is again. Following me. That little black cloud no one else can see. Just kinda hovering there, up in the sky, casually trailing after me, pretending it's not interested in me at all.
But I know that's not true. I know what it's doing. I know it's just waiting for me to get into an open spot so it can conveniently zap me with the lightning bolt it's hiding inside - a lightning bolt no one else will see. Or hear. Or notice in any way.
And when I collapse, perhaps falling to the ground somewhere in public, a few people will rush to help me, assuming I've fainted. Or had a heart attack. Or - lord forbid - can't hold my liquor. I don't want anyone to think that.
Because I can. Hold my liquor, I mean. Quite well, in fact. But what I can't do is prevent that little black cloud from zapping me with lightning. And I know this because it's happened to me before. More than once. Way more than once!
Am I crazy? Blaming what happens to me on a lightning-filled, little black cloud no one but me can see? I'm sure my therapist thinks so. But that's because I haven't told her the whole truth about all this. About what happens after I wake up. When I can see the future.
I suppose I should clarify that. I can't see the whole future, only one day of it. The next day.
And I can't see the future of the entire world, either, of everyone and everything in it. No. All I can see is the future of one individual. A person totally unknown to me, usually. A person who, in the 24 hour time period following the one in which I get zapped, is scheduled to . . .
Die.
Mabel Dornas
Jubilee Springs, California
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