I'm lying on my back, staring at the ceiling. Pain radiates through my body like an electrical current. Every cell is consumed by it. Even my eyelashes hurt.
It takes an incredible amount of thought and effort just to turn from my back to my side. I try. I don't know how long it takes, but it feels like forever. Something as simple as changing positions has become a painful challenge. When I finally make it to my side, the pain follows. Perhaps if I don't move at all... No, that hurts too. Maybe if I stop breathing so deeply...
One physician told me to "anticipate having a bad year." I could accept that recovering from breast cancer would be difficult. What I wasn't prepared for was four and a half years of relentless pain. I endured cancer, treatments, and chronic suffering while desperately searching for healing.
As hopeless as I sometimes felt, something deep inside me kept urging me forward. I believed life would not always be this way. I had once known joy and peace; I wasn't searching for something I'd never experienced. I simply wanted my quality of life back.
From Cancer to Cannabis: A Memoir of Healing & Faith tells the story of how I made it to the other side. It is my journey-not a roadmap-and it is my hope that my story will encourage you to believe that healing and change are possible. We all have the ability to change, but change begins when we take action.
