Write More Good ─ An Absolutely Phony Guide

Still clinging to your dog-eared dictionary? So attached to The Elements of Style that you named your rabbits Strunk and White? Maybe you’re a beleaguered reporter, or a type-A newspaper reader who unwinds by e-mailing the editor about whether “tweet” is a verb?

It’s time to face up to reality: Writing clearly, checking facts, and correcting typos are dying arts. Whether you’re a jaded producer of media or a nitpicking consumer of it, this book will help you to embrace, not resist, the lowering of standards for the written word!

Part dictionary, part journalism textbook, part grammar and writing manual, Write More Good is a “comprehensive” “guide” to today’s “media,” in all its ambulance-chasing, story-fabricating, money-hemorrhaging glory. (LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The authors are not responsible for consequences that may result from actually using this book as a dictionary, textbook, or grammar and writing manual.)

Let The Bureau Chiefs, the ritin’ and reportin’ geniuses behind the Twitter phenomenon @FakeAPStylebook, teach you about:

* Proper usage!
“World War” should be used only for conflicts involving countries on at least three continents. For large-scale battles against clones, killer tomatoes, or a fifty-foot woman, use “attack” instead.

* Entertainment Journalism!
When writing about a celebrity for an online audience, save your readers time by linking directly to nude photos of him or her.

* Science Reporting!
When writing about those robots that seek out and consume houseflies for energy, the parenthetical aside “(OH GOD, WE’RE DOOMED!)” is implied and is therefore not necessary to include in your story.

And much, much, more!

THE BUREAU CHIEFS count among their number journalists, artists, a librarian,
an English professor, even a lawyer (affirmative action!). Ken Lowery and Mark
Hale are the founders of the Twitter feed?@FakeAPStylebook, which they and the
Bureau Chiefs update several times a day.