Vampire Planet

Ron Koertge wants to do nothing but delight. Armed with wit and brains, he introduces readers to Dr. Frankenstein's frustrated fiancee and gives an alternate reading to the Bible story about Lot's nameless wife. He rues the loss of a favorite pair of underpants, attends a bachelor party where Mr. Magoo makes an appearance, and suggests what cheerleaders will be like in the future. Bashful, one of the seven dwarfs, spills the beans about Snow White. Death comes home from a business trip to his favorite meal, and Epeius—who designed the Trojan horse—turns out to be a better architect than a warrior. Saint George muses about girls, and on her honeymoon Mrs. Mark Trail wishes her husband would take his eyes off that moose get down to business. In a sestina, Ron probes the psyches of the Hardy boys. A half dozen charming couplets tell about an experience at a local car wash, and a domestic reveals the secret life of clothes.

Like Reverend Ike and John Lennon said, “Whatever gets you through the night”—this book will do that and carry you right into the next day. Guaranteed.

A prolific writer, Ron Koertge was published widely in the ’60s and ’70s in such seminal magazines as Kayak and Poetry Now. His first book, The Father Poems, was published in 1973, and was soon followed by many more, including poetry, prose, novels-in-verse, and fiction for teenagers. His most recent book, Sex World, was released in Fall 2014 from Red Hen Press. Ron is the recipient of grants from the N.E.A. and the California Arts Council and has poems in two volumes of Best American Poetry (1999 and 2005). His books have been honored by the American Library Association, and two have received PEN awards. After teaching for thirty-seven years at the city college in Pasadena, he retired and now teaches at Hamline University in their low-residency MFA program for Children’s Writing. He currently lives in South Pasadena, CA, with his wife, Bianca Richards.