I Am Not Stupid

A Scottish Immigrant met a lady in Boston when they were 17 years old. When he came back from WWII and his troop ship from the European Theater landed in Boston, she was there to meet him. They are now 37 years old and she promises him they are too old to raise a family, it will be a childless marriage. When she was 38 she gave birth to my sister and me when she was 39! A marriage based on lies and fueled by alcohol, I grew up in a verbally abusive dysfunctional family. Like so many kids born into or raised in families like this do not know there is anything wrong. I thought it was okay to be called "Stupid".

My mother blamed me for everything that was wrong with her, possibly because I looked just like my father. When she and my sister moved up to Maine and left Dad and I to sell the house, I had a near death incident and Mom didn't come to my side. In Maine it was obvious my sister could do no wrong and I was still "Stupid", It didn't help that I was learning disabled, a stutterer. Then when Dad left it got much worse.

From the first day in school in a rural farming community where I showed up in my Boston Parochial School Uniform to when I shot my first gun and smoked my first cigarette at age 9 was I finally accepted. One of the teachers helped me got over stuttering and I became very active in sports, theater, and drinking alcoholic beverages. I was an A and B student, but still called "stupid" at home. I was involved in another near death accident, less than 15% chance of living. Mom never made it to my bedside then either. I had permanent scars and disfigurement that I had to live with because Mom settled with the insurance company basically before I was released from the hospital. It would be seven months before I could return to school.

having gone from a top student to a near failing student, coupled with loss of all my sports and activities, I turned to crime and drinking. A dear friend tried to help and her father and uncle helped me with a delayed enlistment in the Navy. It worked, but didn't, as within six weeks of deployment I got into serious trouble and the "30 days or jail" speech by the Sheriff had me joining the Air Force. A few months later I met the woman I would marry and although my mother said I married the wrong woman, I didn't.

Through 23 years in the Air Force and many years in General Industry, I went beyond the norm. I did things forever unattainable, earning 5 college degrees and multiple Professional Certifications. I met people at the top levels and received worldwide professional recognition. I saved 9 lives, and mentored/trained many people, still being labeled as "stupid" by my mother and sometimes by my sister.

I worked in a hospital Emergency Room, became a State Certified Emergency Medical Technician, volunteered with the Red Cross, lectured throughout the world and authored many professional papers. I was an Adjunct Professor an Associate Visiting Scholar at three senate universities. All this helped me understand not only the barriers we have in our lives, but how to move over, under or around them. I am my most vulnerable as a Vietnam Veteran exposed to death and Agent Orange. That vulnerability has helped me understand and help as many people as I can past those barriers. Whether PTSD or self debilitating, I help many people. Preventing at least 2 suicides yet losing many close friends to suicide, Agent Orange related illnesses like Cancer, the vision and goal of this book is to prove those barriers can be conquered. One of the people I helped wrote a thank you note that said, "You have helped so many people, there will be standing room, only at your funeral."

why? Because I had to prove to my mother and myself, I AM NOT STUPID!