Beneath the Blue Umbrella

Beneath the Blue Umbrella tells stories of generational trauma and mental illness amid the daily miracles of life and the natural world.

After the sudden death of her older half sister, in April 2023, the author finds herself with grief that is complicated by her early childhood memories of the first time she had lost this sister to mental illness. Through narrative poems, interspersed with short memoir pieces, the author tells about her childhood where she not only had to learn to live with the absence of her sister, who played role of second mother, but also with a mother who continued to carry the weight of her Swedish immigrant father's depression and her first husband's loss to schizophrenia . The author then takes the reader with her through the secrets she has uncovered through genealogical research about her sister's biological father, uncle and grandmother and the connections she has made with her sister's living relations who she had not known.

The author's sister's father was a psychiatrist who had been diagnosed as schizophrenic after he came home from treating soldiers in World War II. Both he and his younger brother committed suicide, and both experienced trauma as a result of their war experiences. The poems address problems with diagnosis and treatment of mental health problems and how stories, like diagnoses, are not always passed on correctly. The author reveals how these experiences ended up shaping her career as a psychologist and a poet, and how uncovering and telling hidden family stories turned out to be a force for renewed health.

While the book speaks to the heart of those who have suffered from the stigma surrounding mental illness and struggled to understand the pain passed down through families, ultimately it is about living beneath an umbrella of love, finding interconnection, resilience and healing through our shared rituals and creative work.