Choose the Handle That Holds: A Guide to Living, Leading and Owning the Moments That Matter

Leadership isn't granted with a title-it's built in the choices you make every single day.

Forget what you've been told about leadership. It's not about power, prestige, or waiting for permission. It's about showing up-fully engaged-and owning the moments that matter.

In Choose the Handle That Holds, Becky Schmooke dismantles the myths that make leadership seem exclusive, proving that real leadership isn't about a job title but about how you lead yourself and others through life's toughest moments.

Through candid storytelling, humor, and deeply relatable experiences, Becky brings leadership back to what it's meant to be: a way of living, a mindset rooted in intentionality, resilience, and the time-tested wisdom of Stoicism.

This book is packed with practical tools to help you build each of the four pillars of SAFE, ensuring you're not just learning about leadership but applying it in every aspect of life-at work, in relationships, in decision-making, and in handling adversity. It also covers how to communicate effectively, how to navigate difficult conversations, and-perhaps most importantly-what to do when you grab the wrong handle. Because mistakes happen. The key is knowing how to put back the pieces and seal them with gold, emerging stronger, wiser, and ready to move forward.

Master the SAFE Leadership Framework:

Strength: Stand and Act with Integrity

Agility: Adapt to the Needs of the Moment

Flexibility: Reach for Curiosity in Adversity

Endurance: Value Process Over Outcome

STOA: The game-changing framework for goal setting and debriefing-turning intention into action.

Success

Targets

Obstacles & Opportunities

Action

With STOA, you achieve success, sustain it, and continue to raise the bar.

Who This Book Is For:

Business leaders, entrepreneurs, and executives.

Athletes, military personnel, and high performers.

Parents, mentors, and coaches shaping the next generation.

Anyone ready to stop passing time and start leading their life.

Whether you're leading a team, a business, or just yourself, this book will give you the skills, mindset, and framework to show up, take ownership, and turn every challenge into an opportunity to grow.

Praise for Choose the Handle That Holds

"Becky gets real about the challenges of leadership, making it feel both attainable and deeply human-a must-read for those who want to lead with authenticity and courage."

- Kellie Wells Brinkley, Olympic Bronze Medalist

"Becky Schmooke is a fresh new voice elevating Stoic wisdom for those striving to live with wisdom, courage, equanimity, and joy-circumstances be damned."

- Ned Johnson, Coauthor of The Self-Driven Child

"Choose the Handle That Holds is a powerful, heartfelt guide. Becky shares leadership wisdom that sticks-practical, authentic, and built to last."

- Captain Brett Crozier, US Navy Retired, Author of Surf When You Can

Stop waiting. Start leading. Own the moments that matter.