Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society

ntroductory.

"Ingenious Art with her expressive face, Steps forth to fashion and refine the

race."-COWPER.

A knowledge of etiquette has been defined to be a knowledge of the rules

of society at its best. These rules have been the outgrowth of centuries of

civilization, had their foundation in friendship and love of man for his fel-

low man-the vital principles of Christianity-and are most powerful agents

for promoting peace, harmony and good will among all people who are en-

joying the blessings of more advanced civilized government. In all civilized

countries the influence of the best society is of great importance to the wel-

fare and prosperity of the nation, but in no country is the good influence of

the most refined society more powerfully felt than in our own, "the land of

the future, where mankind may plant, essay, and resolve all social problems."

These rules make social intercourse more agreeable, and facilitate hospitali-

ties, when all members of society hold them as binding rules and faithfully

regard their observance. They are to society what our laws are to the people

as a political body, and to disregard them will give rise to constant misun-

derstandings, engender ill-will, and beget bad morals and bad manners.

3 JOHN H. YOUNG

Says an eminent English writer: "On manners, refinement, rules of good

breeding, and even the forms of etiquette, we are forever talking, judging

our neighbors severely by the breach of traditionary and unwritten laws, and

choosing our society and even our friends by the touchstone of courtesy."

The Marchioness de Lambert expressed opinions which will be endorsed

by the best bred people everywhere when she wrote to her son: "Nothing

is more shameful than a voluntary rudeness. Men have found it necessary

as well as agreeable to unite for the common good; they have made laws to

restrain the wicked; they have agreed among themselves as to the duties of

society, and have annexed an honorable character to the practice of those

duties. He is the honest man who observes them with the most exactness,

and the instances of them multiply in proportion to the degree of nicety of

a person's honor."

Originally a gentleman was defined to be one who, without any title of no-

bility, wore a coat of arms. And the descendants of many of the early colonists

preserve with much pride and care the old armorial bearings which their an-

cestors brought with them from their homes in the mother country. Al-

though despising titles and ignoring the rights of kings, they still clung to

the "grand old name of gentleman." But race is no longer the only requisite

for a gentleman, nor will race united with learning and wealth make a man a

gentleman, unless there are present the kind and gentle qualities of the heart,

which find expression in the principles of the Golden Rule. Nor will race,

education and wealth combined make a woman a true lady if she shows a

want of refinement and consideration of the feelings of others.

Good manners are only acquired by education and observation, followed

up by habitual practice at home and in society, and good manners reveal

to us the lady and the gentleman. He who does not possess them, though

he bear the highest title of nobility, cannot expect to be called a gentleman;

nor can a woman, without good manners, aspire to be considered a lady

by ladies. Manners and morals are indissolubly allied, and no society can

be good where they are bad. It is the duty of American women to exercise