The Hunger Pains ─ A Parody

WINNING MEANS WEALTH, FAME, AND A LIFE OF THERAPY LOSING MEANS DEATH, BUT ALSO FAME! THIS IS THE HUNGER PAINS

When Kantkiss Neverclean replaces her sister as a contestant on the Hunger Games—the second-highest-rated reality TV show in Peaceland, behind Extreme Home Makeover—she has no idea what to expect. Having lived her entire life in the telemarketing district’s worst neighborhood, the Crack, Kantkiss feels unprepared to fight to the death while simultaneously winking and looking adorable for the cameras. But when her survival rests on choosing between the dreamy hunk from home, Carol Handsomestein, or the doughy klutz, Pita Malarkey, Kantkiss discovers that the toughest conflicts may not be found on the battlefield but in her own heart . . . which is unfortunately on a battlefield.

The Harvard Lampoon debuted in February 1876 and is the world's longest continually published humor magazine. Written by seven undergraduates and modeled on Punch, the British humor magazine, the debut issue took the Harvard campus by storm. United States President Ulysses S. Grant was advised not to read the magazine, as he would be too much “in stitches” to run the government. Harvard Lampoon alumni include comedians Conan O'Brien, Andy Borowitz, Greg Daniels, Jim Downey, Al Jean, and B.J. Novak. Lampoon alumni write and have written for Saturday Night Live, The Simpsons, Futurama, Late Night with David Letterman, Seinfeld, The League, NewsRadio, The Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, and dozens of others. The Lampoon has also graduated many noted authors, such as George Plimpton, George Santayana, and John Updike.