Die Smiling：A Memoir: The Sorrows and Joys on A Journey to Dignitas

As seen in national newspapers

''A searingly honest tale of love, life and death'' – Sarah Wootton, Dignity in Dying

Die Smiling is a rare and intimate account of one man’s journey to Dignitas in Zurich and his ultimate triumph over suffering and disease.
Told with wit and candour, Julie Casson traces her husband Nigel’s extraordinary journey from diagnosis of motor neurone disease to his death.

A successful businessman and father of three, Nigel battles the degenerative disease with boundless courage and gritty good humour, until, faced with the unimaginable torture of a slow, living death – his body a tomb – he takes control. He decides to go to Dignitas to end his life – while he is still able to die smiling.

The family prepares for this enormous logistical and emotional challenge: the gruelling Dignitas process and the 800-mile road trip to Switzerland. They complete it with pragmatism and humour. Denying motor neurone disease its victory and choosing his own cure, Nigel dies happily, in the arms of his wife and children.

As the UK Parliament considers introducing an assisted dying bill, Die Smiling allows supporters of both sides of the debate to go inside a family battling a terminal illness and the difficult journey an individual and close relatives and friends go through at the end of life. It is a frank and loving memoir that explains the reality of MND''s cruel symptoms and the experience of going to Dignitas.

Written with the tenderness of With the End in Mind and the joy of Dr Rachel Clarke''s Dear Life, this book has stayed in the minds of readers: an intimate portrait of a family, loving life and united in death.

Reader reviews
''It’s written with dazzling honesty and clarity – I salute the courage of his family in writing and sharing it. Take the time to read it no matter what you think. It’s a beautiful story'' – MTT

''Julie Casson has written a beautiful memoir. What a remarkable man Nigel was, courageous, fun-loving family man. Julie and her family are unbelievably supportive.'' – B2NYC

''Read in 2 days – laughed a lot and cried a lot – truly inspiring. Julie is a fantastic writer and should be encouraged to write a novel. It is one of the best memoirs I have read for a long time and have learnt so much about MND and Dignitas.'' – K Matthieson

''I was greatly moved by Julie''s book describing the initial diagnosis of her husband''s MND through to the sad, yet uplifting conclusion at the Dignitas establishment in Switzerland. Throughout the book, the strength and importance of family is clear to see. Moments of intense sadness are counterbalanced with typical northern humour...often, on the same page.'' – David Chard

''I have never before experienced every emotion in one book before. Heartbreaking and heartwarming but also hilarious.'' Customer

''What an amazing read, I almost feel like I was on the journey with them. I laughed as much as I cried.'' – P.M Swaine

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Contents

1. Looking Back 3

2. Death’s Calling Card 6

3. Brenda and Methuselah 15

4. Tests, Tests and More Tests 23

5. The End of ‘Normal.’ 32

6. Life with MND Begins 44

7. Breaking the News 53

8. The Wailing Weeks 67

9. Spain 81

10. The Bucket List 85

11. Where Hope Dies 91

12. Not Ready for This 98

13. Our Spanish Love Affair 103

14. Two Steps Ahead 112

15. MND Declares War 122

16. Don’t Forget Me 126

17. Cost More Than our First House 132

18. Starting to Die 137

19. 22 July 2011 147

20. Every Day is a Bonus 157

21. Don’t Laugh at my Cock 164

22. Toileting Matters 179

23. When the Laughter Stops 191

24. It’s All About Control 203

25. Apply to Die 210

26. The Provisional Green Light 226

27. Last Christmas 238

28. The Recce 247

29. Appointment with Death 264

30. Twenty-five Days Left to Live 283

31. The Goodbyes 295

32. The Hotel and the Doctor 303

33. One More Day 314

34. Nigel’s Cure 328

35. Nigel’s Last Goodbye 345

Acknowledgements 356