My hope is that by reading Riding the Waves: When Challenges Come Our Way, the reader will reflect on building their self-esteem and self-worth no matter the circumstances of the experiences in life. In reflecting my past experiences of pain, disappointment, reward, and victories my self-esteem grew independent of others' views. This book is to assist those who may be struggling to sustain in life. We have evolved over the centuries and our survival depends on being included in a group of people, it is the connectivity with others which keeps a sense of belonging necessary as human beings. Adaptability to our environment is dependent on others helping us understand our inherent survival techniques from adolescent to adulthood. Mark Leary, author of "Making Sense of Self-Esteem," argues that self-esteem is an evolutionary adaptation that has evolved to help us monitor our inclusion in or exclusion from important social groups. Jennifer Croker and Katherine Knight, authors of Contingencies of Self-Worth, argue that self-esteem is contingent on success in domains that are highly important to us, and is not necessarily dependent on others' views of us. Self-esteem is a reactive construct and based on the theory of William James, author of The Principles of Psychology, states that people vary in the difficulty of goals they set for themselves and comparing themselves with others which internally affects self-value and worth.
The purpose of self-esteem is to serve as a sociometer or gauge of social inclusiveness that alerts us when we are in danger of social exclusion. It also motivates us to succeed in areas important to us in life. Our experiences in life will increase and decrease our influence of our failures and are contingent on the accomplishment of goals. I believe that the acceptance or approval of others affects relationships and our self-esteem. The psychological problems that arise from excessive disappointment, rejection, and weakened social skills result in the inability to adapt to difficult emotions that arise. Learning to cope in higher intense situations can come from prayer, mediation, and positive information intake daily. Psychologist studies state, self-esteem is the awareness of the emotional acceptance or rejection of the interpersonal aptitude of self. The value others see in us is important to the development of our self-esteem; positive psychological changes help increase self-worth and awareness of who we are or the impact we have on others. This book hopefully will help us begin to create a more positive self-image and awareness of who we are and who we were created to be, while understanding our worth.
Although all the effects on self-esteem can be explained scientifically, my awakened relationship to God and the source of inner power to understand greater strength within myself has brought me to a place of knowledge of who I was created to be and my prayer is that this book will assist others in seeing that same power within themselves as they journal after each chapter and build their faith and belief in the Greater power of God as the healer and redeemer, while becoming more resilient as well as victorious in life.
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