My Dream of Fatherhood: An Unconventional Journey

Way back in the 1990s, it was nearly impossible, and unheard of, for gay men to be parents, let alone to have their own biological children. But for me, ever since I was a boy, I knew that I wanted to be a dad. I knew that my path would be an uphill one.

After wishing and fantasizing, I decided that I would have to create my own version of family, even though I wasn't quite sure what that would look like. I spent years changing careers, changing my lifestyle, and changing the minds of those around me. Neither surrogacy nor adoption felt right to me. I wanted a biological child. One by one, my options seemed to vanish. But the seemingly never-ending rejections only invigorated me to continue pursuing what I wanted, not what I was told to settle for.

After wading through awkward conversation and inelegant requests, I found the woman who would be the mother of my child. She, a single, straight woman, and me, a partnered gay man, together we forged a new path to parenthood. We created our own definition of 'family' amid differences in outlooks and parenting styles. Our new parenting paradigm needed to work - for the sake of our daughter's health and happiness.

This story is one of willpower and grit. Strength of mind and strength of character. Belief in oneself. Life for any of us ... all of us ... deposits before us trials, tribulations, ups and downs. Conflicts between ourselves and those we love. Yet there comes that crucial moment when we have to decide: what am I going to do? For me, it was listening to my inner voice, following my inner strength, and doggedly chasing my dream: my dream of fatherhood.