When I was young and single, I used to get the weird vision of seeing myself being crucified on the cross. There was a powerful impulse inside my heart to say, "Crucify my flesh! Crucify my flesh!" When I say those words, I will have a glimpse of seeing my right hand being nailed to the cross, then my left hand being nailed to the cross, and then both of my feet nailed to the cross. At first, I did not know what it meant, but now I know.
In those days, I lived a sinful and awkward life. After working hours, I enjoyed nightlife (spending time in a pub or disco). There was no perfect peace in my mind and heart. Nothing satisfied me at all. I was looking for something but didn't know what it was. My life was meaningless and empty. I didn't know what to do with my life at that time. I lost direction in life.
But I thank God for not giving up on me. God is so good and loving to me. The Lord Jesus came to look for me when I was lost. He brought me back to the faith. I started to read the Bible diligently and discovered many of my past actions were incorrect and opposed to the Bible. I repent from all the sins in Jesus' name. The Holy Spirit started to remind me of the word of God, and it helped me a lot. It brings such peace and joy to my heart. Hallelujah!
I began to be a new person in Christ Jesus. The reason I saw myself being nailed on the cross was that I needed to crucify my will so that I would not continue living in sins. I learned that we can overcome the flesh only when our flesh submits to our spirit-man and our Spirit submits to the Holy Spirit.
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