WARNING ADULT CONTENT - Trevor Malloy is just your average dead-inside council admin from the crumbling northern town of Smackleton - single, depressed, and one Greggs sausage roll away from a breakdown.
Then one night, he smokes crack.
Now he's hurtling face-first into the seedy underbelly of small-town Britain: from pimping his girlfriend out of a stolen ice cream van to launching a crypto-dogging empire called
DoggChain. Along the way, he botches robberies, runs a cactus porn studio in a garden centre, sells fake funerals to real pensioners, and starts an OnlyFans agency for people with extremely niche fetishes.
He's a crackhead. He's a criminal. He's also absolutely fucking useless.
A blisteringly filthy dark comedy full of swearing, sex, stupidity, and spice,
CRACKHEAD is what happens when
Trainspotting shags
The Office behind a Wetherspoons bin. It's bleak, brilliant, and outrageously funny.
Warning: Not for the easily offended. Or the moderately offended. Or really, anyone who thinks "that's a bit much."
Rumour has it
CRACKHEAD might be heading to TV soon. So read it now before it gets banned, burned, or turned into a rubbish TV version starring a bloke who was an extra in Eastenders in 1987!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"I laughed so hard I pissed myself. Twice."-
Janice, Amazon Verified Reviewer & part-time bingo caller⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"Like Trainspotting, but with more Greggs, crack, and cum jokes. A masterpiece."-
Dave in Hull, currently on bail⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"Offensive, obscene, morally bankrupt - 10/10."-
Guardian Reader who won't admit they loved it⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"I was reading this on the bus and laughed so hard I farted. No regrets."-
Sharon B, NHS admin, bladder control issues⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"This book cured my depression. Or gave me a new, funnier one. Either way, thanks."-
Colin, failed magician, full-time legend⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
