Pure Pleasure: A Biblical, Historical, and Scientific Approach to Love, Sex, and Dating

Our love lives can often be reduced to data. For example, by the time most people end up with the love of their life, they will have been in seven relationships. Of those, two are typically long-term, while the rest are a mix of short-term flings, casual dating, and one-night stands. On average, individuals fall in love twice and experience heartbreak twice as well. These statistics might sound familiar, and they serve as the opening lines of the HBO Max series Love Life (although the series itself has not been watched here). While the statistics aren't real, they seem believable because many people can relate to this storyline. Many Christians can also identify with this narrative, but it does not reflect what God intended for His people.

The back cover of a well-known book about Christian dating states, "When it comes to dating, the church has provided little in the way of practical application. Instead of sound advice, Christian singles are bombarded with books that shun dating, exalt courting, fixate on spirituality, and in the end offer little real relationship help." This sentiment is widely shared.

Many who come to know Christ as Lord and Savior struggle with sexual temptation and seek guidance for navigating Christian dating. What should that look like? It is clear that it should not resemble patterns that have become familiar before coming to faith. Reliable advice can be difficult to find, and many experience challenges for years, concerned about how these struggles might affect their relationship with Christ.

Most knowledge about love, sex, and dating is acquired from the surrounding culture. Without an alternative to replace these influences, even Christians continue to practice what they learned before coming to know Christ. If relationships are meant by the Creator to be sacred, set apart, and honored to portray Christ's relationship with His church, and to make people holy rather than simply happy, shouldn't Christian relationships look different from those in the world? If these are not the world's goals, and their god is not our God, what are the chances that worldly advice achieves these aims? Why follow their lead? There should be something distinct for believers.

The union between a man and a woman was created by the Creator with a purpose and plan that does not resemble a Hollywood romantic comedy. God's desire is for His purpose to be known and His plan to be executed. Discovering this plan and purpose requires examining love, sex, and dating from biblical, historical, and scientific perspectives. This comprehensive approach provides a fuller picture of God's intentions. For Bible-believing Christians, Scripture is always the final authority. Scientific insights can be included, as many good Bible teachers understand that science and Scripture agree, sharing the same Author. Psychology and neuroscience offer a deeper understanding, clarifying what Scripture teaches about relationships. Historical perspectives illuminate the consequences of previous approaches to love, sex, and dating, helping to prepare for a better future.

Many have listened to countless messages from skilled preachers and teachers and have read numerous books on the subject; there are many excellent teachers addressing these topics. However, some offer opinions or best practices, providing biblical support for their advice. Opinions differ between teachers, resulting in confusion within the church. How can one know what is right in such cases? Consequently, current approaches are not working. At present, the world cannot distinguish Christians from others. The church has accepted worldly offerings, which have not served well, leaving believers far short of God's best without realizing it. These ways feel right simply because they are familiar, but they miss the glorious experience God has planned.

When Scripture does not expressly address a particular subject, guiding principles can still be app...