Extract from Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven

Mark Twain's (1835-1910) witty vision of what heaven "is really like" is told from the point of view of the recently deceased Captain Stormfield. In a folksy narration peppered with sailor's jargon, the amiable, altogether down-to-earth merchant marine describes a series of amusingly disconcerting revelations about the next world.
Sitting on a cloud strumming a harp all day turns out to be insufferably boring; being eternally youthful also has its drawbacks when the captain finds he has nothing in common with most youths; and the enormous dimensions of heaven completely disorient him.